the music is slow, and sweet, and full of the light that radiates during the tentative beginnings of relationships, during the time when potential is vast, and possibilities endless. i want to breath slower, to force myself take my time with this… but i also want to jump in with my whole being…
we met…and were not out of each others’ presence for more than a moment or two for the following 48 hours… intense in a soft, easy way…
… this is special…
a sad afternoon….
tears begin to fall. knowledge in pictures hurts sometimes. remembering losses…
when i choose it, i enjoy my time alone…but when i don’t, the anxiousness creeps back and sinks its claws in to my shoulders…
i know what i want, those desires only acknowleged in the deep hours of the night, when we need to find our reasons for being… i want someone to hold me in the night when i am cold… to stand behind me and wrap arms around my waist, laughing softly in my ear….to play with me….to stop me when i try to hide….to laugh with me….to remind me of how spectacular i am when i doubt….to challenge me when i do not acknowledge my truth….to revel in the love i give…..to be my touchstone so i can explore the world….to see through, and into me….to live an extraordinary life with me….
what is it about cupcakes? their delicacy…? sweet beauty in minature?..the icing to cake ratio…? all of these i suppose….i just love looking at these pics so thought i’d share….
i did it!
i was just offered the job i wanted in vancouver! i am so damn happy!…it’s so good. i know the work, i have more flexibility in my time, and i can do my masters for free…it’s good all around!
next step…sell the house, and i’m outta here!
well, it’s been a been a while….have been trying out new ventures, getting away for as many weekends as i can, visiting with family, re-evaluating some friendships, and rolling throught the highs and lows of love and sex….
i’ve also realized that i need more laughter in my life. there hasn’t been nearly enough lately…care to help with that?
it’s a bit of a down day today. just a bit of ennui i suppose…wishing it was four months from now, wishing i had someone to cuddle on the couch with here…ah well, it will come with time..i will make it happen (just not so much into loving the “patience” thing…)
so…i’ve also been exploring different aspect of my sexuality lately…i won’t go into too much detail about it here….yet 
…but i will say that i’m surprising myself with a few things…
Your Goddess is Romi Kumu
29% Romi_Kumu, 0% Artemis, 14% Brigit, 14% Venus, 14% Tai_Yuan, 14% Laksmi, and 14% Hekat
Your prediction of the future is from Romi Kumu, the South American Goddess of Creation.
Romi Kumu believes that it is time for you to think about yourself. You are not finding happiness because you are spreading yourself too thin and working too hard to please others. You need to focus on your power of making your desires a reality and finding defeat in your compromises that haven’t ended up being compromises at all, but just forgetting what it was that you originally wanted or planned for. Thinking about yourself is not being selfish at this time, but it is necessary to create a sense of inner well being.
You need to feel the power that you have within and use that power to materialize that which you want. Feel powerful!
Find things that bring you satisfaction and with this you will be able to attain your goals. Overcome fear, even though fears are natural, by making the decision to rely on yourself and your inner power. When you do this you can expect new adventures in your life and freedom from a humdrum existence. This will awaken new passions in your life.
Prediction:
When you can look at your own needs and desires for happiness you will discover that you can better bring change and happiness to the people you love and to yourself. Your happiness is not exclusive of theirs. You will embark on a journey of self discovery.
hmmm…the plethora of pejorative words that exist to describe women who enjoy a sexually active life outside of long term committed monogamous relationships…
oh, double standards abound… first, a man’s drive for sex is expected, life-affirming…while a woman’s…well, about for a bit…what comes to mind…? hmmm…?
and second, explicit sexuality is considered taboo, dangerous….while explicit violence is much less frowned upon….now, if one were to measure the effects of these on these two “actions” on society, which is more inherently destructive?
your thoughts?
mind
chatters,
and heart
spasms…
trying to hold on to
old habits
of existance…
while
spirit
waits
patiently
to be known…
and to
just
let
go…
he
dwells
with(in) me
and
with out
feeding
the fire
that
consumes
me……
she
washes over
my body,
beseeching
me to join
her….
deceptively
sensuous,
inviting…
deadly
in her yearning…..
goddess
in me,
denied too long…
kept
in shadow
no longer…
i hold
her soul
in my hands,
and watch….
like mercury
attracting like,
she (re)forms
to heal,
and inhabit…
being
as i was
born(e)
to be….
