transcend….

what do you see

when you

look

at me?

 

my flesh?

 

soft

and abundant…

 

my eyes?

 

dark

and seeking…

 

my heart?

 

healing

and resiliant …

 

or

my soul?

 

anonymity

i once thought to be anonymous on my blogs…thinking it would provide me with some sense of security. it was a part of a carfully constructed blanket that i wove around myself thinking it would keep me safe in this world….realize now that it blanket was in fact keeping me a part from the world and slowly smothering me…

when i finially put a profile pic of myself on my first blog, i felt at first overwhelming anxiety…i had, after all, moved out of a carefully controlled comfort zone…but i also felt a sense of liberation. i didn’t realize how powerful that sense would become. it built upon the changes that were occurring inside of me…changes that were helped along by the fact that i was putting my words out into the public realm, cracking open my soul and letting people glimpse in to the person i am, the struggles i deal with….

embracing life, for me, means being fully who i am, and not apologizing for or denying any part of me. so i put my pic on this blog (“a little about me” page) because my physical self has defined so much of my life, as any woman who has grown up large in a society that values smaller woman would understand.

I have met so many people in this world who try to deny who they are for the sake of others’ opinions, or dislike themselves so much that they need to hurt others to express their pain….it’s not for me anymore….not anymore….

i celebrate who i am, what i am, good and bad….it’s all in me….and it’s all me….