whidbey island

peace...

evening solice...

 

bizmark

i’ve been there twice now, to the house down the lane bordered by forest shrubbery, with the view of the ocean….

it’s quiet, only the sounds of the birds to wake me in the morning. there is little to do, and whatever it is can be decided after the morning coffee taken on the porch…

j makes me the coffee usually (i claim to not be able to use the expresso maker).  somewhere around lurks baby-girl, who, while being a girl cat, is definitely not a baby (think 72 year old crochety woman witha touch of arthritis). she is still leary of me… muffin, on the other hand (paw) is an attention slut, and is always willing to jump onto any available lap for a scratch. j is working on convincing her to not bring any more rodents (dead or otherwise) into the house, but she is a hunter at heart…

the evenings are quiet, j, me,, the cats, and occasionally, a’s special friend – that a picture of him above. although to be thruthful, he might be a she. biz was seen with a baby racoon a few months back…..

i hope to spend more weekends there. it’s a tonic to the noise and bustle of my new home. the three hour drive south is worth it to sit on that back porch, listen to the morning birds, stand out in the rain, watch the lightening, or talk to biz as he/she comes to help himself to the remains of the catfood.

oh, ya, and there is j too of course..

peace…

smile for me…

the giddiness subsides…into its place moves a sense of calm, of comfort, of acceptance, of discovery, of belonging…

this place is odd, the oddness of the new, the uncharted….the being with someone unlike any i have ever known. but uniqueness alone wouldn’t be enough…i’ve met a blended soul…feminine and masculine, romantic and irreverent, playful and thoughtful, questing and knowing…

there is something quiet, insistent , and special building…

the dance continues…

the music is slow, and sweet, and full of the light that radiates during the tentative beginnings of relationships, during the time when potential is vast, and possibilities endless. i want to breath slower, to force myself take my time with this… but i also want to jump in with my whole being…

we met…and were not out of each others’ presence for more than a moment or two for the following 48 hours… intense in a soft, easy way…

… this is special…

oh yes…

in case you might have been wondering….

two fabulous first ”dates”…. i say “first” in anticipation of more….

what did these dates have in common? intelligent, interesting, unconventional people…. and facets of my being that are just beginning to be explored….

seriously…

well, maybe not so seriously….

three dates (i use the word in its loosest sense)  lined up…next week

[one is with an incredibly brilliant, if perhaps [no, not perhaps], eccentric “maker”…)

an all-night solstice celebration tomorrow night…meeting new friends…

i’m serious about jumping off cliffs… and i have no idea what i’ll be landing on…

maybe i should’ve thought about a parachute…

polyamory

isn’t the diversity of this world a wonderously amazing thing…..

night time…

i sometimes wonder if it’s worth it, choosing to live each day in hope…..choosing to believe in people’s integrity, when experience tells me that there are many without it…..

i’ve chosen to take risks in life, because without risking, i will never know what might be….but i know that risking also means failing, and falling…..and most days i have faith that i will be able to pick myself up and carry on, choosing to let go of fear, and of pain…..but there are nights, like tonight, when i question my faith in myself…..it’s nights like this when i acknowledge the sadness that is a part of my soul, the sorrow that lives just always under the surface. it is a part of me. i try to honour it because it is a part of what makes me who i am, but it is hard….it threatens to overwhelm me sometimes and pull me into that place of greyness where the colours i paint in my world disappear….

….back to the integrity piece….i want to believe in people, that they mean what they say….but i also know that to truly believe that in reality, it is naive to think that everyone will behave with integrity, with honesty. it truth, i think it is actually rare to find those who do live their lives like that. i think i have found a few, who are a part of my life, and i hope to encounter more as i continue to explore the world….

but, in order to do that, i must get through this night, with its sadness, with its disappointment….and i have to find a way to decide that it is worth it, to live each day in hope…..

hmmm….food for thought….

The Peach Random Gentle Love Master (RGLM) Playful, kind, and well-loved, you are The Peach. For such a warm-hearted, generous person, you’re surprisingly experienced in both love and sex. We credit your spontaneous side; you tend to live in the moment, and you don’t get bogged down by inhibitions like most women your age. If you see something wonderful, you confidently embrace it. You are a fun flirt and an instant sweetheart, but our guess is you’re becoming more selective about long-term love. It’s getting tougher for you to become permanently attached; and a guy who’s in a different place emotionally might misunderstand your early enthusiasm. You can wreck someone simply by enjoying him. Your ideal mate is adventurous and giving, like you. But not overly intense. Your exact female opposite: The Nymph Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer Always avoid: The False Messiah (DBLM) Consider: The Loverboy (RGLM), The Playboy (RGSM), The Boy Next Door (RGLD)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test |