tuesday morning, and i think i’ve recuperated from the week-end….it was a week-end of work, of sensuality, and of …..well, that’ll require a password protected post…. 
made a few connections with new people, one of whom i hope to develop further….. life remains interesting….
“you should float between the borders” she says…
oh, but i do, I think…
i exist between the borders
have dwelt there, and here,
for a lifetime, or two, it seems…
between the borders that define sexuality,
between the borders that define culture,
between the borders that define identity,
between the borders of your skin and mine,
between this living in, and out, of my mind
boundaries defined, and blurred
celebration… and denial of self
knowing… and not
patience,,, and haste
between the boundaries that define
self and other
in the spaces
between our words,
where we make meaning….
in the places
between our bodies
where we pulled to connect….
in the energy
between our souls
where we yearn to know….
this is where i dwell……
“You are led
through your life time
by the inner learning creature,
the playful spiritual being
that is your real self.”
-richard bach
no turkey for me…it was a trip to vancouver instead, spending some time with some family, and an evening with nerdgirl ….
the highlites:
four new pairs of heels….(imelda wannabe?
fabulous steak dinner, great conversation and laughs, a bottle of scotch (not such a good thing the next morning…), and two tix to a canucks game next weekend!!!
sitting on the steps of the vancouver art gallery at 2 in the morning, people watching, eating mcdonald’s fries……
sunday night watching (and talking with) beautiful women taking their off clothes (well, most of their clothes anyhow….), meeting new people, sharing very scintillating stories, and laughing……
and as for thanksgiving dinner….sushi….what else? oh wait, i think there was a meal at denny’s in the wee hours of the morning….i have memories of a cheescake milkshake….. it seemed worth giving thanks for at the time…..
i trace the words with my finger tips
slow sensual curve
strong bold stoke
willing the ink
to seep through
my skin,
for the words
to become body
if i let it all go (truly let it go, not just tell myself i have, while keeping a little corner packed full of regrets and desires, and maybes….) then i would float free….light….desirous of nothing, needing nothing…..to look down from the ethers and be able to say good-bye…..
i want to open up those closed little corners and sweep out those dratted maybes, those demanding desires, and those prickly regrets….set them free to live their own lives instead of taking up space in mine…..
it comes in fits and spurts….surfacing when i stop finding ways to distract myself…in the moments when i let my guard down….
yesterday i just felt so sad….sad for so much….then i stopped, and got busy, distracting myself again. it feels like a weight i am carrying….that i haven’t said good-bye yet, and i don’t know why.
